A female voice on dignity, support and agency during International Women’s Day: “Give to Gain”

Author/Editor Maria Anna Furman

A female voice on dignity, support and agency during International Women’s Day: “Give to Gain.”

The meeting under the theme of International Women’s Day: “Give to Gain” was conducted in the form of a women’s circle. Men could be present, but exclusively as listeners. This was not a gesture of exclusion but the creation of a safe space for women’s experiences, voices and stories.

The meeting host, the Lord Mayor of Liverpool, Cllr Barbara Murray, immediately placed the topic within the realities of everyday social work. She spoke about fundraising as one of the public duties, about the ambitious goal of raising one million pounds to fund apprenticeships working with young people, as well as to support initiatives such as the Liverpool Literacy Cycle and Liverpool Poetry Space. In her words, there was not only determination, but also honesty: an awareness that the goal is enormous, but that one has to start somewhere.

It was precisely in this context that one of the most important observations of the meeting was made. When the Lord Mayor visits social and charitable organisations, she sees above all women. It is they who, more often than anyone else, carry out the enormous, often unnoticed work connected to care, organisation, supporting others, and raising funds for those who themselves do not have the strength or means to ask.

Then more participants began to speak. And it was precisely then that the phrase “Give to Gain” stopped being a slogan and became a collection of true, lived stories.

One of the women spoke about her newly established initiative, Butterfly Effect Wellness, aimed at parents and carers struggling with stress. Her story was especially moving because it came from personal experience. She admitted that for a long time her ways of coping with stress were alcohol and self-destructive forms of escape. Only when she discovered other tools did she regain influence over her own life. Today, she wants to pass this knowledge on so that others may also regain agency, peace and love for their own lives.

Equally powerful was the statement of a woman working with people going through the criminal justice system, with addicted women and victims of domestic violence. She spoke about the belief that many of them have that they have nothing left to give and nothing to gain. And that is precisely why the simple question becomes so important: “Who are you?” Not as a mother, wife, daughter or sister. But ask yourself. Her reflection carried one of the most important thoughts of the entire meeting: a person must first recognise their own worth before they can truly exist for others. Recognising yourself is not selfishness. It is the foundation.

A very concrete, yet extremely necessary, dimension of the discussion was brought by a woman working in education. She herself does not raise funds, but every day she sees people whose lives are changed precisely because of them. These are young people, women returning to education after years, people who finally receive the chance to take a step towards a better future. Her voice was a reminder that behind every grant, every fundraiser, every fundraising effort, there stands a specific person and a real result. Sometimes money does not end its journey in a table, but in a classroom, in a book, in someone’s courage to begin again.

A particularly moving testimony was given by a woman who, in 2019, heard a diagnosis of breast cancer and lost her breast. She could have closed herself in suffering. Instead, she decided to turn her own experience into help for others. Today, she serves as an ambassador for organisations that support women at risk and those affected by illness. She spoke of the millions raised for a specialist centre, but another part of her story resonated even more strongly: the loneliness of women after illness, the loss of hair, a sense of femininity, identity, and self-confidence. For her, giving means creating a space in which another woman can hear: “You are not alone.” In this story, “gain” did not mean material benefit. It meant restored dignity and community.

Sometimes the greatest gift is that someone is noticed, heard, and taken seriously.

The issue of age and female visibility also proved to be very important. One of the participants pointed to a paradox that is still too rarely named directly: as women grow older, they gain experience, wisdom and perspective, and at the same time they increasingly become socially invisible. This observation opened space for reflection on how often society fails to make use of mature female strength, even though it could be one of the community's most valuable resources.

In response to this voice, a symbolic and historical reminder was made. The Lord Mayor of Liverpool, Cllr Barbara Murray, pointed to the insignia of office, a heavy, golden sign of authority with a history of more than two hundred years, on the reverse of which the names of previous Lord Mayors are inscribed. There are very few women’s names there. The first woman to hold this position in Liverpool was Margaret Beavan in 1926. That sentence sounded like a quiet yet very clear lesson: change comes slowly, but it comes because someone earlier decided to bring it about.

And perhaps this is where the most important truth of the whole meeting lay. Giving is not a weakness. It is a form of agency. You can give time, experience, support, attention, protection, tools, words, space, and hope. By giving, you do not lose yourself. On the contrary, very often it is precisely then that people regain themselves.

The phrase “Give to Gain” took on a fuller meaning in this conversation. Not as an encouragement to transactional thinking, but as a reminder that a person gains the most when their giving has its source in truth, compassion and courage. And when you give, the world very often becomes a more human place.

Author/Editor Maria Anna Furman